September 3, 2012
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Struggling.
Jamie’s parents are in town visiting, and boy am I struggling. I got on well with his parents when we were first engaged, but we made the mistake of moving in with them while we were building our house before we were married, and it was the biggest mistake of my life.
Jamie’s dad is fantastic…super outgoing, nice to everyone, great all around. His mother, on the other hand, makes me want to rip my hair out (and then drink myself into a stupor). She’s very critical of me…of how I clean, of how I do laundry, of how I take care of Jamie (take care of Jamie?! He’s a grown-ass man, he can take care of himself, thank you)…all that. It’s frustrating, and it makes me very defensive and snarky. She has a real passive-aggressive streak about her, and if there is one trait that I can’t handle in people, it is passive aggressiveness. I think it’s rude and it’s a sign of low emotional maturity.
So…his parents came back with him on his trip back from the States. So they’ve been with us since Friday morning…not really that long! But almost immediately I just got super tense around them. His mom made a comment about how I didn’t manage to dust off the DVD cases under the TV (the one place I forgot to dust…sue me). This was after I had ran to the laundromat and washed all the bed linens (ALL of them), washed all the clothes and towels, and deep cleaned the apartment (except for the damn DVD cases, apparently). I was ready to just scream…it’s none of her damn business how I clean or what I do around the house! Plus, she gets super annoyed when I make Jamie do something for himself (like if I make him get up to throw away a paper instead of doing it for him). She started to take something from him to throw it away, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her to let him do it himself, and that his legs and arms aren’t broken. She was less than pleased, but I don’t care.
So yeah…thankfully, I’m in England for work this week, so then I’ll have a weekend left with them and then Monday/Tuesday before they leave. It’s nice to see them, and I do love them, but not when they’re in my private space. It’s just too close for comfort, to be honest.
That’s all for now…work has been insane, and still not word on our move home date. We’re still looking at housing options, but nothing really stands out yet. We’re keeping our eyes out for something that “needs work” but not a total gutting. We want to make it ours without spending a full year in renovations. I’ll definitely post photos soon of some potential places, once we find some!
Hope all is well!
XOXOXO,
K.
Comments (5)
Oh man, i totally know where you’re coming from having a neat freak mother in law. It is so hard when they stay for more than a couple of days. Just be aware that if you do decide to start a family, the comments will then turn to your kids. How you’re not parenting right, etc. etc. When my MIL makes comments about anything, i just nod, smile and do what i want to do. I try to just accept her for who she is and move on. It’s tough.
@ShamrockLover - Yeah…it’s a pain. I actually don’t think I’ll hear that many comments about how we raise our kids, because they’re not that interested in grandkids. Plus…I have no intention of ever leaving our children with them or spending tons of time together. Maybe dinner every now and then, but when we lived back home (only 10 minutes away), we only saw them 1-2 times a month. I don’t really anticipate it being much different when we have kids (thankfully). It’s only because it’s so concentrated this time around that I can’t deal with it…24/7 for 10 days straight in a tiny apartment is maddening!
I definitely can’t smile and nod…I don’t have it in me. If she makes me mad, I just flat out tell her that I appreciate her advice, but I do things my way in my home. She shuts up after that. Plus, Jamie is an absolute star about standing up for me to his mom, which I really appreciate.
I’m sorry to hear about the issues with the MIL! I’m rather fortunate. I think my MIL is a nice lady, but as an only child who was raised by her father…who married and had two boys…she has absolutely NO idea how to relate to me. I distinctly remember when I first met her – we had planned a “get the four parents together” dinner night out. Over dinner, I mentioned that my mom and I had planned to spend Sunday as a girls’ day – brunch and pedicures, and invited her along. She shot me a scornful glance and said, “why would I want to waste a day like that?” Okay, lady, you don’t have to come. Mom and I will be swooning, frivolous debutantes on our own.
She calls me by the nickname “Madam.” It seriously took me YEARS to not be offended.
But at least she doesn’t dare criticize a thing about my house. I represent the only chance she has for grandkids, so obedience is somewhat expected of my houseguests.
Ugh. MILs… I can go on and on.
But, at least she has never criticized my house keeper, and she better not since she has no room to talk! Sorry you are dealing with it though. It does make it tough.
she sounds like the type of mother in law who is threatened because their daughter in law took away their son. perhaps you can talk to his dad about the situation and maybe he can talk some flippin sense into her; after all you shouldn’t have to deal with her ass the rest of your life. or maybe she is just a negative, over critical bitch.